Sunday, 25 August, 2019

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog roasts Beto O'Rourke, Ted Cruz

Triumph Insult Comic Dog: Ted Cruz So Racist He Got 9 AM Hour of ‘Today’ Ted Cruz and Beto O'Rourke Got Into it with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: WATCH
Patty Aguilar | 07 November, 2018, 03:58

She told MSNBC's Garrett Haake in a tearful interview that she "wasn't expecting" O'Rourke to show up and thinks "he's pretty important". Without giving them all away, here are the seven sickest burns Triumph lands on Ted Cruz.

Colbert noted that Triumph had been unsuccessful in confronting Senator Ted Cruz during the 2016 Republican presidential primary, but Triumph's luck was a bit better this time around. He finishes the interview by saying, "what does Ted Cruz have that you don't have, aside from the ability to regenerate his tail?"

"Which do you think was harder for Ted to forgive?" "Just remember", Cruz cautioned Triumph. "Donald Trump for insulting his wife or that mongoose for eating his offspring".

Triumph then asked voters if they were impressed by the way Ted has forgiven Donald Trump, and "if Ted loses do you think he'll end up back with his first love, that mute lady from The Shape of Water, because he's a disgusting fish monster!"

After interviewing the candidates, Triumph joined in with Cruz supporters to chant that he is a "lion of the Senate". "See, because he's a disgusting fish monster". I have a preexisting condition that makes me vomit out of my eyes whenever I look at you. "Is that covered under the GOP healthcare plan?" "I'm not 'overwhelming scientific evidence of global warming'".

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"Ted, is it true you will defend the constitution at all costs?"

Given that Conan O'Brien's TBS show "Conan" is on hiatus, Colbert explains at the start of the segment above, O'Brien was happy to loan one of his correspondents, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, to Colbert.

Cruz, who cast an early vote in his native Houston last month, says he's confident he'll prevail and was boosted by President Donald Trump's recent visit to Houston. "Just like Trump did to you".

Watch the full video above.

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